Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
