You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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