the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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