just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
