I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
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I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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