it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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