Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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