no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
