would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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