the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize