Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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