with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
