I'm eating all of the evidence.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
