I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
