Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
