it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
