Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize