You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
