thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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