Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize