i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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