imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.