I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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