so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.