your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.