Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?