who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
