She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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