Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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