Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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