I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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