You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
