im gay
i know
yea but for you.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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