I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize