My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize