Me. At least after what I've been through.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize