dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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