I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
