do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
