she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The dysfunction is strong in this one.