At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?