Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize