She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
