Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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