Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
People in love make me want to vomit
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
