Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
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its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
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My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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