Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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