im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wish they made helmets for livers.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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