i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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