at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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