Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
