i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize