The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize