i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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