fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize